


INTERN SQUAD is typing..

by Mars_and_Moon



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Eventual Relationships, F/F, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Humor, M/M, Medical Inaccuracies, Texting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-13
Updated: 2019-01-25
Packaged: 2019-07-30 01:03:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16275980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mars_and_Moon/pseuds/Mars_and_Moon
Summary: [8:03 pm]DogMom: also what is it with us and lusting after Attendings[8:07 pm]BloodBank: I'm not lusting after an attending????[8:09 pm]GayPanic: yeah but you have that weird thing where whenever Nico Kim enters a room you drop something, so[8:09 pm]GayPanic:  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯





	1. fuck night shifts

**Author's Note:**

> DogMom: Dahlia  
> GayPanic: Taryn  
> BloodBank:Levi  
> PettyParker: Casey  
> BestDocRoy: Vikram 
> 
> enjoy

**_Intern Squad_ **

****

_[2:37 am]_

**BestDocRoy:** Sup

_[2:37 am]_

**GayPanic:** ew who added roy back? 

_[2:38 am]_

**BestDocRoy:** What have I ever done to you?

_[2:39 am]_

**GayPanic:** I got a list. 

_[2:41 am]_

**PettyParker:** shhhhhhhhh 

_[2:41 am]_

**PettyParker:** im sleep

_[2:41 am]_

**DogMom:** you're “sleep”? 

_[2:41 am]_

**PettyParker:** ye 

_[2:57 am]_

**BloodBank:** how long is too long to stare at someone? 

_[2:58 am]_

**DogMom:** like, 30 seconds

_[2:58 am]_

**DogMom:** 40 if you're together 

_[2:59 am]_

**BloodBank:** d a m m i t 

_[3:00 am]_

**GayPanic:** I'm gonna murder whoever invented night shifts 

_[3:01 am]_

**GayPanic:** also I'm scared to sleep in the on call rooms because everyone hooks up in them 

_[3:04 am]_

**BloodBank:** I'm with grey and she's, she's in a mood 

_[3:07 am]_

**BestDocRoy:** hunt hates me 

_[3:08 am]_

**PettyParker:** I have jo karev, and she's really badass 

_[3:10 am]_

**GayPanic:** webber has me doing scut and only scut 

_[3:10 am]_

**DogMom:** i have kim

_[3:10 am]_

**DogMom:** think he'd date me?? 

_[3:17 am]_

**GayPanic:** honey, he gay 

_[3:18 am]_

**PettyParker:** tru 

_[3:20 am]_

**BestDocRoy:** he is?

_[3:22 am]_

**GayPanic:** very much so 

_[3:42 am]_

**GayPanic:** trauma in the pit!!! It's mine!!! 

_[3:42 am]_

**BestDocRoy:** not for long 

_[3:47 am]_

**DogMom:** hey why is kim asking about levi??? 

_[3:48 am]_

**BloodBank:** what?!?!?!?!?!?!?! 

_[3:48 am]_

**PettyParker:** levi literally just fell out of a chair?!? 

_[3:40 am]_

**DogMom:** wtf 

_[3:40 am]_

**DogMom:** levi chill

_[3:40 am]_

**DogMom:** he literally just asked whose service you're on

_[3:42 am]_

**PettyParker:** he fell out of a chair

_[3:42 am]_

**PettyParker:** again

_[4:02 am]_

**PettyParker:** I hate people 

_[4:03 am]_

**GayPanic:** bitch me to the fuck? 

_[4:03 am]_

**PettyParker:** what happened to your trauma??

_[4:04 am]_

**GayPanic:** died 

_[4:05 am]_

**DogMom:** you good?? 

_[4:07 am]_

**GayPanic:** ehh, not totally, give it a little bit tho 

_[4:16 am]_

**BloodBank:** I 

_[4:21 am]_

**BloodBank:** f u c k 

_[4:23 am]_

**GayPanic:** did you kill someone?!?! 

_[4:23 am]_

**BloodBank:** no

_[4:24 am]_

**BloodBank:** can u get fired for accidentally slapping someone??

_[4:25 am]_

**GayPanic:** I mean, probably 

_[4:25 am]_

**BloodBank:** ahhhhhuh 

_[4:32 am]_

**BloodBank:** nevermind, I'm good 

_[4:43 am]_

**PettyPaker:** i might actually fall asleep standing up 

_[4:44 am]_

**GayPanic:** s a m e 

_[4:48 am]_

**BestDocRoy:** I just got off do a surgery 

_[4:48 am]_

**DogMom:** who let u into an OR?

_[4:49 am]_

**BestDocRoy:** excuse me 

_[4:52 am]_

**BloodBank:** I literally just found Casey passed out in the cafeteria 

_[4:58 am]_

**GayPanic:** send pic’s 

_[4:58 am]_

**GayPanic:** also mood 

_[5:00 am]_

**DogMom:** my shift literally last 30 more minutes and I don't think I can do it 

_[5:02 am]_

**GayPanic:** my shift just ended two minutes ago and I don't think I can make it home 

_[5:04 am]_

**BloodBank:** I have five more hours 

_[5:06 am]_

**PettyParker:** I passed out in the cafe??????? 

_[5:06 am]_

**PettyParker:** also my shift is over, thank whatever 

_[5:06 am]_

**DogMom:** fuck u parker 

_[5:07 am]_

**GayPanic:** im gonna, pass out against my locker now 

_[5:11 am]_

**BloodBank:** trauma 

_[5:12 am]_

**DogMom:** no

_[5:12 am]_

**DogMom:** sleep

  
  



	2. lusting after Attendings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [6:48 pm]  
> BloodBank: I'm a heterosexual man 
> 
> [6:49 pm]  
> PettyParker: u sure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more!! hints of cowen and schmico (obviously) becoming more seen
> 
> enjoy

_ [6:23 pm]  _

**PettyParker:** hey what the Fuck happened in the 24 hours I was gone?!??!

_ [6:27 pm]  _

**BestDocRoy:** I got fired 

_ [6:28 pm]  _

**PettyParker:** wha 

_ [6:28 pm]  _

**BloodBank:** Avery is temporarily leaving

_ [6:29 pm]  _

**GayPanic:** alex karev is chief of surgery 

_ [6:32 pm]  _

**DogMom:** Idk I just got here 

_ [6:32 pm]  _

**DogMom:** also how the hell did you get fired  _ @BestDocRoy _ ???

 

 **BestDocRoy** _left_

 

_ [6:34 pm]  _

**DogMom:** welp 

_ [6:46 pm]  _

**BloodBank:** how gay is it to stare at a dude shirtless????????????

_ [6:47 pm]  _

**PettyParker:** very 

_ [6:47 pm]  _

**PettyParker:** it's very gay 

_ [6:48 pm]  _

**BloodBank:** I'm a heterosexual man 

_ [6:49 pm]  _

**PettyParker:** u sure 

_ [6:51 pm]  _

**BloodBank:** fuck off 

_ [6:58 pm]  _

**PettyParker:** _ @GayPanic _ did you ever have a sex dream about Grey?????

_ [7:00 pm]  _

**GayPanic:** dude what the fuck 

_ [7:01 pm]  _

**PettyParker:** someone google what it means to have a sex dream about your boss 

_ [7:02 pm]  _

**GayPanic:** diy 

_ [7:03 pm]  _

**PettyParker:** n o 

_ [7:04 pm]  _

**GayPanic:** who was in the dream

_ [7:10 pm]  _

**PettyParker:** not answering that 

_ [7:11 pm]  _

**DogMom:** changing the subject

_ [7:11 pm]  _

**DogMom:** anyone wanna like, switch their service with me?? 

_ [7:12 pm]  _

**PettyParker:** YES 

_ [7:13 pm]  _

**DogMom:** lit, have fun with Shepherd 

_ [7:13 pm]  _

**PettyParker:** never mind 

_ [7:14 pm]  _

**GayPanic:** was shepherd the boss in the dream?????? 

_ [7:15 pm]  _

**PettyParker:** I'm gay 

_ [7:15 pm]  _

**GayPanic:** fuck 

_ [7:46 pm] _

**BloodBank:** I'm on Hunt’s service with Casey and literally Casey has not said more then three words to him 

_ [7:51 pm] _

**GayPanic:** Was it Hunt?!?!?!?!?!?!??! 

_ [7:54 pm]  _

**PettyParker:** stop takikbg!!!!!

_ [7:55 pm]  _

**GayPanic:** it was

_ [7:55]  _

**GayPanic:** wait isn't he like, old enough to be your father 

_ [7:56 pm]  _

**PettyParker:** I mean technically I'm older them all of you because I did the whole, 4 ½ years in the air force thing, so 

_ [7:57 pm]  _

**GayPanic:** oh yeah 

_ [8:02 pm]  _

**DogMom:** I'm already so tired 

_ [8:03 pm]  _

**DogMom:** also what is it with us and lusting after Attendings 

_ [8:07 pm]  _

**BloodBank:** I'm not lusting after an attending???? 

_ [8:09 pm]  _

**GayPanic:** yeah but you have that weird thing where whenever Nico Kim enters a room you drop something, so

_ [8:09 pm]  _

**GayPanic:**  ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

_ [8:10 pm]  _

**BloodBank:** I don't do that?????

_ [8:10 pm]  _

**GayPanic:** yes you do 

_ [8:10 pm]  _

**DogMom:** yes you do 

_ [8:10 pm]  _

**PettyParker:** yes you do 

_ [8:10 pm]  _

**BloodBank:** ?????

 

 **GayPanic** _has changed_ “INTERN SQUAD” _to_ “Lusting After Those Attendings” 

 

_ [8:12 pm]  _

**DogMom:** n o 

_ [8:13 pm]  _

**GayPanic:** y e s 

_ [8:15 pm]  _

**PettyParker:** can you disown friends? 

_ [8:15 pm]  _

**GayPanic:** nope you're stuck with us 

_ [8:16 pm]  _

**PettyParker:** great 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> plot? who? never heard of her
> 
> comments & kudos cause me to scream in public from joy


	3. airlines can fuck off (feat. levi being the only one that actually has someone flirting with them)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [10:33 pm]  
> BloodBank: am I a lightweight?
> 
> [10:33 pm]  
> GayPanic: yes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm a canadian person and here we have thanksgiving in october, so shut the hell up
> 
> enjoy

_[10:03 pm]_

**PettyParker:** Fuck airlines

_[10:04 pm]_

**GayPanic:** was your flight canceled???

_[10:04 pm]_

**PettyParker:** “delayed”

_[10:05 pm]_

**BloodBank:** why are you flying again?

_[10:05 pm]_

**PettyParker:** home for thanksgiving

_[10:06 pm]_

**PettyParker:** and then home like, 17 hours later because I have a shift

_[10:06 pm]_

**DogMom:** why??

_[10:06 pm]_

**PettyParker:** because I couldn't get enough time off and still reach my 80 hours

_[10:06 pm]_

**GayPanic:** take to many days off you do

_[10:06 pm]_

**DogMom:** that suck

_[10:07 pm]_

**PettyParker:** “delayed two hours” I am on a schEDULE

_[10:08 pm]_

**BloodBank:** I'm currently in Joe’s and Nico Kim bought me a drink again

_[10:09 pm]_

**DogMom:** wh

_[10:10 pm]_

**PettyParker:** he waht

_[10:10 pm]_

**BloodBank:** bought me a drink

_[10:11 pm]_

**GayPanic:** how the fuck

_[10:11 pm]_

**BloodBank:** what??

_[10:12 pm]_

**GayPanic:** I'm not even going to say anything

_[10:25 pm]_

**PettyParker:** I spent $200 on a fucking plane ticket

_[10:25 pm]_

**PettyParker:** I'm still in my scrub pants

_[10:25 pm]_

**PettyParker:** I have like 24 hours to see my family

_[10:25 pm]_

**PettyParker:** this plane better show the FUCK up

_[10:32 pm]_

**PettyParker:** THANK YOU JESUS OR WHOEVER THE FUCK

_[10:32 pm]_

**DogMom:** plane??

_[10:32 pm]_

**PettyParker:** ye

_[10:33 pm]_

**BloodBank:** am I a lightweight?

_[10:33 pm]_

**GayPanic:** yes

_[10:34 pm]_

**PettyParker:** bon voyage fuckers, I have turkey to eat

_[10:34 pm]_

**PettyParker:** also fuck air travel

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments & kudos make my heart do they heart-eyes emoji


	4. casey deserves better and he really needs to sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [3:05 am]  
> GayPanic: i will cut a bitch if you need

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lit 
> 
> enjoy

**PettyParker** changed  _ “ _ Lusting After Those Attendings”  _ to  _ “HOLIDAY TIME Y’ALL”

_ [2:36 am] _

**DogMom:** casey’s woke y’all 

_ [2:28 am] _

**PettyParker:** yes ma’am 

_ [2:30 am] _

**DogMom:** casey where are you

_ [2:32 am] _

**PettyParker:** trying to sleep in an on-call room but getting distracted via some thngs i don’t want to talk about

_ [2:33 am] _

**DogMom:** ……..hunt 

_ [2:33 am] _

**PettyParker:** shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

_ [2:35 am] _

**DogMom:** one of us needs to get laid casey 

_ [2:35 am] _

**PettyParker:** you’re no longer my favorite 

_ [2:37 am} _

**DogMom:** wow 

_ [2:42 am] _

**GayPanic:** if you lot keep texting i’m going to go against the oath and kill you 

_ [2:43 am] _

**DogMom:** go back to sleep 

_ [2:44 am]  _

**GayPanic:** i would but i have a shift in like an hour and i live far

_ [2:45 am] _

**DogMom:** a mood

 

_ [2:46 am] _

**PettyParker:** y’all are w e a k 

_ [2:46 am] _

**GayPanic:** shut your mouth 

_ [2:48 am] _

**PettyParker:** i think the fuck not 

_ [2:51 am] _

**PettyParker:** hmmmmmmmmmm why are people…. terrible 

_ [2:53 am]  _

**DogMom:** context 

_ [2:58] _

**PettyParker:** so back when in high school (which as i say, would have been great if i was anyone else) i knew this guy and we kind of went out a few times, anyway he showed up here, for some godforsaken reason. So i mention my mom, to see if it’s really him (because passage of time) and he remembered my family! So he kept saying that he didn’t remember me and the only parker he went to school with was *my deadname that we aren’t going to talk about*, so i told him that I WAS *deadname that we aren’t going to talk about* and long story short,, transphobia and i now i remember why i hated myself 

_ [3:01 am] _

**DogMom:** wow 

_ [3:02 am] _

**DogMom:** you good? 

_ [3:04 am] _

**PettyParker:** nah 

_ [3:05 am]  _

**GayPanic:** i will cut a bitch if you need 

_ [3:06 am] _

**PettyParker** : thank you, but please don’t 

_ [3:07 am] _

**GayPanic:** shit bro u good 

_ [3:08 am]  _

**PettyParker:** nah fam

_ [3:11 am] _

**DogMom:** the fuck is happening 

_ [3:12 am] _

**GayPanic:** gay 

_ [3:13 am] _

**DogMom:** lit 

_ [3:17 am] _

**GayPanic:** speaking of gay where is Levi???

_ [3:19 am] _

**PettyParker:** not letting the gay happen to him 

_ [3:20 am] _

**DogMom:** casey y r u this way 

_ [3:24 am] _

**PettyParker:** i never learned that thing called a healthy way to deal with feelings 

_ [3:27 am] _

**GayPanic:** sleep deprived casey is my favorite because he has no filter 

_ [3:28 am]  _

**PettyParker:** ye

_ [3:28 am] _

**DogMom:** casey when does your shift end? 

_ [3:29 am] _

**PettyParker:** like,,, an hour maybe 

_ [3:38 am] _

**GayPanic:** please stay away from patients 

_ [3:40 am] _

**PettyParker:** yes ma’am 

_ [4:27 am] _

**PettyParker:** im freeeeeeee

_ [4:28 am] _

**GayPanic:** I'm not 

_ [4:30 am] _

**DogMom:** I mean I go get why Casey has a crush on Hunt….. he's hot, level headed, caring

_ [4:30 am]  _

**PettyParker:** I do not have a crush on hunt

_ [4:31 am] _

**GayPanic:** sounds fake but okay  

_ [4:32 am] _

**PettyParker:** I'm like three seconds away from disowning you I swear 

_ [4:33 am] _

**GayPanic:** but u won't 

_ [4:35 am] _

**PettyParker:** maybe-so.jpeg

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #NotDeadYet 
> 
> this is like way later then I thought it would but what can you do
> 
> comments & kudos are all I want for the holidays


	5. the real gay panic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [3:47 pm]  
> BloodBank: they KJNOWH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy

_[3:15 pm]_

**BloodBank:** ………

_[3:17 pm]_

**BloodBank:** um

_[3:20 pm]_

**BloodBank:** hypothetically, if you made out with your, hypothetical, boss in the back of an ambulance, and then hypothetically almost had sex while in the hypothetical ambulance, all while not speaking about the hypothetical situation after, even though you thought you were past all of that because you made a great speech about, hypothetically how would you deal with that

_[3:21 pm]_

**BloodBank:** hypothetically

_[3:21pm]_

**PettyParker:** I'm

_[3:21 pm]_

**PettyParker:** what

_[3:22 pm]_

**GayPanic:** dude we should be calling you gay panic

_[3:24 pm]_

**BloodBank:** ahhhhhhhhh

_[3:24 pm]_

**BloodBank:** someone trade services with me 

_[3:27 pm]_

**DogMom:** levi what the actual fuck did you do

_[3:28 pm]_

**GayPanic:** something gay

_[3:28 pm]_

**BloodBank:** yeah

_[3:29 pm]_

**PettyParker:** i’m

_[3:32 pm]_

**PettyParker:** okay so, levi made out with nico kim in an ambulance yesterday during the windstrom (note: what the fuck is with the hurricane level winds?? Last i checked i moved away from california) and now they aren’t talking BUT he’s on ortho service today and forced to work woth him and now it’s really awkward and there is some tension

_[3:43 pm]_

**BloodBank:** how did you get all of that????

_[3:45 pm]_

**PettyParker:** i actually talk to nurses and they actually like me

_[3:47 pm]_

**BloodBank:** they KJNOWH

_[3:49 pm]_

**GayPanic:** everyone does

_[3:49 pm]_

**DogMom:** what the fuck is going on

_[3:52 pm]_

**PettyParker:** levi’s gay, he made out wiht nico kim yesterday and noe thy’re not talking, and levi is freaking out because everyone knows

_[3:56 pm]_

**DogMom:** so many spelling mistakes

_[3:57 pm]_

**BloodBank:** akjljhgesdv  


**BloodBank** has changed their name to **RealGayPanic**

 **GayPanic** has changed their name to **Hellmouth**

_[4:03 pm]_

**RealGayPanic:** taryn took my phone and i don’t know how to change my name back

_[4:04 pm]_

**Hellmouth:** hell yeah

_[4:04 pm]_

**PettyParker:** why

_[4:05 pm]_

**DogMom:** it’s true casey, don’t lie to yourself

_[4:08 pm]_

**RealGayPanic:** can we get back to my love life??????

_[4:08 pm]_

**PettyParker:** i’m with hunt if you want to trade

_[4:09 pm]_

**RealGayPanic:** casey you're true friend

_[4:11 pm]_

**Hellmouth:** levi!! face your feelings!!

_[4:13 pm]_

**RealGayPanic:** no

_[4:14 pm]_

**DogMom:** *exasperated sigh*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments & kudos make my year


	6. somehow it gets gayer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [1:39 pm]  
> DogMom: accept the gay casey 
> 
> [1:42 pm]  
> PettyParker: no

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am the only person that ships casey/owen but that will not stop me from dedicating a whole-ass chapter to them 
> 
> enjoy

_ [12:41 am] _

**PettyParker:** welp it was nice knowing all of you i’m moving to new zealand

_ [12:41 pm] _

**DogMom:** casey what the fuck

_ [12:43 pm] _

**Hellmouth:** say what now

_ [12:46 pm] _

**PettyParker:** i have fucked up

_ [12:48 pm] _

**RealGayPanic:** can none of us just,, have a normal day 

_ [12:48 pm]  _

**DogMom:** physically impossible 

_ [12:49 pm] _

**DogMom:** casey continue 

_ [12:49 pm] _

**PettyParker:** i think I got asked out by someone?? 

_ [12:53 pm]  _

**Hellmouth:** not a real problem 

_ [12:56 pm] _

**PettyParker:** it was owen

_ [12:56 pm] _

**PettyParker:** well actually it was dr. shepherd asking me to ask out owen

_ [12:57 pm]  _

**Hellmouth:** still not a real problem

_ [12:57 pm] _

**RealGayPanic:** update: i’m gay and i have the boyfriend

_ [12:58 pm] _

**Hellmouth:** welcom to the gays, we can’t spell, can’t breathe when we see pretty people, and are messes

_ [1:32 pm] _

**DogMom:** i don’t know what just happened but it ceritanly was entertaing for me 

_ [1:34 pm] _

**PettyParker:** i am literally buying a ticket to new zealand as we speak

_ [1:37 pm] _ _   
_ **RealGayPanic:** can u pls,, just give context

_ [1:38 pm] _

**DogMom:** casey has le date 

_ [1:38 pm]  _

**PettyParker:** i think the fuck not 

_ [1:39 pm]  _

**DogMom:** accept the gay casey 

_ [1:42 pm] _

**PettyParker:** no 

_ [1:43 pm] _

**RealGayPanic:** i mean

_ [1:43 pm] _

**PettyParker:** ppl in relationships do not get an opinion

_ [1:46 pm] _

**RealGayPanic:** f i n e 

_ [1:47 pm] _

**Hellmouth:** casey is2g if u do not go on this date i will kick ur ass

_ [1:47 pm] _

**PettyParker:** he’s!! my!! boss!! 

_ [1:48 pm]  _

**Hellmouth:** invalid excuse, look at levi 

_ [1:50 pm] _

**PettyParker:** he’s older    
  


_ [1:50 pm]  _

**DogMom:** closer to your age than ours, considering you’re older than us 

_ [1:50 pm] _

**PettyParker:** he’s in a love triangle

_ [1:51 pm]  _

**Hellmouth:** 1\. his ex-wife told you to ask him out  2. i over heard teddy altman (the baby mama) telling him to “get his out of his ass and ask the intern out” (her words)  3. he litterally asked you out???

_ [1:52 pm]  _

**Hellmouth:** and yes he has kids but you have said more times than i can count how much you love kids and want kids 

_ [1:52 pm]  _

**Hellmouth:** a hot guy wants to get drinks with you casey, just say yes. nothing bad can come from it

_ [1:53 pm]  _

**RealGayPanic:** damn 

_ [1:53 pm]  _

**DogMom:** taryn just went off 

_ [1:54 pm]  _

**PettyParker:** he doesn’t know i’m trans 

_ [1:55 pm]  _

**Hellmouth:** there’s this thing called a date, where you talk about things like that and if that makes a difference for him i’ll destroy him for u 

_ [1:55 pm] _

**Hellmouth:** i can do this all day casey parker

_ [2:00 pm]  _

**PettyParker:** i agreed to go on one (1) date with owen, that’s all i’m promising 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it has not been a month that is ridiculous
> 
> comments & kudos are what help me survive the hell of exams

**Author's Note:**

> texting fic because yeah 
> 
> comments & kudos, just please, validate me


End file.
